Pining, an Update

Not been posting much lately, i know. you miss me, don't you, both of you.

in general, i've been gearing up for awp. i finished joe massey's chap, as well as tom lisk's. proof copies are enroute to each as we speak. in the meantime, i'm making copies of the rest of the kitchen press catalog to have on hand at the books fair and super-spectacular reading that you can find out more about here.

BUT, what am i pining about, you ask. lack of publication, basically. i'm getting sick of rejections or not being able to find presses to publish my chapbooks and book. i make my poems to be read and it makes me sad when they struggle and/or don't find a public audience.

i'm actually ok with rejection, in truth, but have been pining for some sort of community, some sort of publishing world where i could reliably turn to have my work published. i don't mean that they would publish just any old thing, or that i'm expecting someone to just come knocking on my door out of the blue offering to publish my work. but it would be nice to have a place/people that were generally receptive to my work and interested in fostering a relationship that went beyond publishing a poem in their journal, or one chap/book on their press.

does this exist? i think for some lucky few, yes. i envy them.

to that end, i've been toying with just not sending out for a while. i'm working on a new series of poems. 5 have been accepted at a jounral and 5 were just rejected thsi morning. the rejection, i confess, hurt a little more than usual for some reason. perhaps because i'm excited but also insecure about this series. probably a sign i should hold off on sending out.

do i sound bitter? am i whining? i don't mean to. just a case of the blues. the work is what matters, is what i tell myself. keep working.